Combating the Fear of Failure

By Sunday, October 16, 2016 0 , , , , Permalink

Written by contributing blogger, Daniela Forte. 

“Eat, Pray, Love” Author Elizabeth Gilbert once said, that fear is boring. When she wrote this on one of her Facebook posts one day, I realized how right she was (I always think she’s right, but I’m biased). It is. Because all it does is stop you from doing what you want to do with your life.

Have I ever feared failure? Absolutely. I have put ungodly thoughts in my head about how anything I was about to do could end in catastrophe. The lesson I learned each time, is that it never actually did.

For example, when I started my career as a journalist, I cried for an entire week. I said things like, “What have I done?” “I can’t do this” “I must be nuts to have ever actually gone to school for this.” I literally called all my friends and anyone who would listen, crying absolute hysterics out of utter fear.

What ended up happening instead? Well, I had my first article published on the front page of the newspaper, that’s what happened. I had people giving me accolades for my reporting and people yelling at me for what I reported. It was a lot of fun that first week.

I won’t say that the fear of failing diminished immediately from there, it didn’t. It stayed a while until I found my groove in how I was going to do it. I worked for the newspaper for about six years and now looking back on those six years; I loved every bit of it. I loved the people I interviewed, the people I worked for and the adrenaline of getting that story. Let me tell you, I was relentless when it came to getting that story exactly as I wanted it to.

Fear of failing will always come when there is a transformation that is about to happen. When life is about to push you in a different direction than you thought you could have ever imagined for yourself.

When you are about to embark on a big change in your life, whether you know it or not, it’s those shaking and crying moments you have that let you know, what you are about to do will change your life. Trust me on this one.

The same thing happened again when I moved out of my parent’s house, as I have written in previous posts, I thought of every imaginable thing that could go wrong. From not being able to pay the bills to every other possible scary thing that could happen when you live alone. None of which actually happened.   The things I feared the most never occurred, and the things I wasn’t thinking about at all, did. Life is funny that way.

So here are some tips to combat the fear of failure:

Take Your Time: When anything new comes into your life, whether it be a new apartment, new job or new relationship, whatever, take your time in getting acclimated with it. Find your groove; find what works for you and what doesn’t. Allow yourself to make the mistakes you will ultimately make. Forgive yourself in the process while you’re at it.

Face Your Fear Head On: Ask yourself some important questions. What is it that you are afraid of? Is what is talking to you make any sense? If not, then drop it. Don’t allow the fear to guide your direction. Write down your fears, because sometimes by writing them down, it will allow you to see things more clearly, then just letting it stew around in your head.

Talk About It: Talk to your friends, your family, a professional (should it get really bad) about what you are afraid of. Other people may provide you with the right perspective you need to get you moving forward, or see something in a different light than you did originally.

Just Know: Nothing you do will ever be perfect, you will make mistakes. You will fall, sometimes more than once and hard at times. But if anything, it will teach you lessons you wouldn’t have learned had you not tried. Be gentle and forgiving with yourself.


image – muse coaching 

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