We approach so many folks in our lives. Some for a moment, some for a lifetime. But which ones truly deserve us? Over the last year I came across an individual who seemed pleasant at first. She was fun, adventurous, smart, and like me, loved food. But first appearances, can be deceiving. We have a habit of putting our best foot forward.
I started to see the rough edges, the hurt behind the smile, the baggage that wouldn’t fit as a carry-on, and the anger that ran through her veins from jealousy, frustration, loneliness, immaturity, and the mere fact that she just hadn’t had any real and long relationships to demonstrate how hard life can really be. Her hardness may have felt fair in her eyes, but it was mere pettiness in mine compared to what most people her age had been through – I mean c’mon she’s not even in her 20s anymore.
But, with the way I wear my heart on my sleeve, I couldn’t help but want to help and help her smile and enjoy the life she has. I tried to make time for her.
But was it appreciated? Of course not. Instead it was never enough. She complained that I was always busy (i.e. not around multiple days a week to go out in the late evenings). Hmm, I am in mid 30s and I have a job and other friends and priorities – I cannot see one person everyday. That’s just silly.
We realized we had different interests when it came to activities such as fitness – and that’s ok! There are other people we can go with, or we can go alone. For me fitness is a time for me to recharge for myself anyway.
Please note we did see each other at least every other week, if not more. After the holidays, she has the audacity to try to ghost me. I of course offered to see her but in turn she told me that I was no longer someone she wanted to be around, and was not sorry about it. Rude? Yes.
Even if you don’t want to talk to someone anymore, be an adult about it. Be kind about it. Don’t be a 12 year old who hasn’t grown into their heels yet.
This is not a passive aggressive post – this is a way to demonstrate that no one deserves to be treated poorly by their friends. Choose your friends wisely and those who don’t deserve “to be around you” don’t deserve your attention. Let them go, and let them realize that what goes around comes around.
And the friends who do deserve you, won’t blink an eye at ever not having you in their lives. Cheers to the real ones.
image source – pixabay