Hurt people, hurt people

Written by contributing blogger, Daniela Forte.

This saying is all over the internet, I’ve seen it on Pinterest, I’ve seen it on Instagram, and it is very true. This thought came across my mind this past weekend when I seriously binged Netflix’s “13 Reasons Why,” season three. 

I don’t know if any of you have watched it, it is very riveting and touches upon a slew of issues going on for teenagers and pre-teens.  This show at first was too much for me to watch the first season. Once I finished it, I had to take a serious break from it before I dove into season two.  I won’t give away what it’s about, just trust me. 

Anyway, I finished season three last night and realized what the moral of the story is. Hurt people, hurt people.  That is really it. It is the foundation of why others attack others with their actions.

Not everyone is equipped to own their crap or face their crap because if they did, they would find out things about themselves that they might not like very much. 

I have personally been the victim of other people’s hurt.  It took me many years to understand that these people who attacked me were hurting themselves, and while I don’t have much remorse or compassion for these people now,  I understand more about why they have done what they have done. 

While I would never intentionally hurt others, the hurt did make me bitter, untrusting, fearful of people’s motives, and some days just plain angry. 

Here are some ways people don’t handle their hurt:

Through addictions:  Whether its eating, drinking excessively, smoking, using drugs and any other addiction that helps them stop thinking about what is hurting their hearts and soul.  Guess what everyone, it doesn’t work.  Whatever is hurting will still hurt with these addictions if not more. 

Taking others’ energy: I also call these people energy vampires. They suck the life out of you by hurting you so deeply and taking up so much of your time and resources.  They belittle you, use you, take advantage of you, they ridicule you and are simply mean.  Why? Because they need to feel powerful by hurting others to alleviate their own pain. 

Surrounding themselves with bad people:  They will surround themselves with people who aren’t good for them. People that will make them feel like equal garbage as they feel inside.  People who are probably just as hurt as they are.  These hurt people will never recognize a good person because they don’t think they deserve them.  Maybe they don’t. 

Looking outside for happiness: So many people think that if they accomplish certain things in their life, it will make them happy. It could be a marriage, a new job, a house, a fancy vacation will fill the void in their soul.  Yeah, no.  You could have everything you ever wanted in life, but if you are hurting inside, none of that will make you feel better.  Other people aren’t medicine nor are things. 

Projecting their reality onto others: People project their reality onto others because they don’t know any other way.  Ever notice when someone is having a bad day, everything that happens to them that day is bad?  Almost like a domino effect, everything goes wrong for them. Sometimes these people are just broken individuals that don’t know how to properly channel their pain.

How people should handle their hurt:

Eliminating Addictions: Rid yourself of anything that has you believing that it will fix whatever is wrong within you.  Whatever those addictions are.  Not easy I know, there are a number of resources that could help you get down the right path.

Alleviate anyone who isn’t good for you:  Rid yourself of people who aren’t good for your mental health.  Anyone who is toxic to your wellbeing. 

Get Help:  Therapy, a trusted friend or family member, a guidance counselor.  Anyone that can help you figure out what is causing your unhappiness.  Depression and anxiety is no joke, so if you’re hurting, find the help. 

Own it, face it:  Realize there is a problem and deal with it head on.  You find all pretty things from it, but you will understand everything better and improve your life tremendously. 

Physically Work through it: Exercise, eating well and general movement.  You’d be surprised how less sluggish you feel when you work through your shit.  I personally wish I was better at this. 


image source – pixabay

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