Written by contributing blogger, Daniela Forte.
There will be many times in your life where you won’t feel like you are enough. It can happen in your career, your relationships and just in the general day-to-day. Let me tell you, it is a horrible feeling.
Here is a little secret, you absolutely are enough! No matter what is happening in your life, no matter how people make you feel, you have to believe that you are enough.
Many times in the last year I felt this way. Often times I just felt like I didn’t quite make the cut, that if I had done something differently, the outcomes would be different. I beat myself up about it, pretty badly. I started to doubt every success in life, started questioning all the good choices I had made simply because I didn’t feel like I was enough.
For what? A year of anguish and sadness? This isn’t how I deserved to live.
Here are a few things I have learned in the process of self-punishment:
It’s Not That You Aren’t Enough, You are Too Much: A close friend of mine taught me this, (she is so wise…) and she taught that this isn’t a bad thing, sometimes who you are, is too intense for the people or situations in your life. This does not mean you should ever feel bad for your successes, beliefs and personality to adhere to other people or situations. This just means that the people and situations aren’t able to handle all that you are. Stand by who you are and be proud of all you have accomplished.
Celebrate and Be Grateful: While there may be people in your life that don’t recognize the good that you are, there are people that do. These are the people who deserve to be by your side during the good and the bad. Be grateful for all the good that is your life, embrace and hold on to it tightly. I have never been so grateful for the people in my life as I have been in the last year. I’ve had such a wonderful group of men and women that I don’t know what I would do without them.
Ditch the Negative Talk: I will tell you; I can be the queen of talking negatively about myself. It doesn’t matter how successful I have been in my career and in my personal life, I will find something that I can beat myself up with. I’ve always been this way, but I am learning more and more each day to believe in myself and have faith in anything that life throws at me. It is important to ditch the negative talk. Whenever you feel like you are about to say something bad about yourself, find the positive side of it and say something good instead. Make a list and put the list on your bathroom mirror, or your fridge. For example, tell yourself every morning and night in your bathroom mirror “You are a rockstar.” Do it until you believe it.
Do Good Things for Yourself and Others: Take yourself out for ice cream, buy a new pair of shoes, do something good for you, that will make your soul sing. Or, volunteer your time, do it for a cause you feel passionate about, do something for others.
Know Your Worth: This can go hand-in-hand with having a high self-esteem. It is so important to know your worth. When you know your worth you are able to set healthy boundaries for yourself and others. When you know your worth, you will know what is important to keep in your life and what is important to let go. And whether you feel crappy one day or not, you’ll be able to face what comes at you, because you know what you are worth.
The basis of all of this is to simply know that you are enough, every choice you have made, every person you have met has led you to where you are today and that is simply enough.