When It’s Not About You

Written by contributing blogger, Daniela Forte.

I recently had a relative say something to me that hurt.  This relative picked at something I love to do in my spare time and in essence made it seem more like a detriment to who I am rather than giving accolades to the things I love to do.

I didn’t ask for any accolades about this hobby, but I also didn’t ask to be insulted either.  And at that moment, I thought, “Why is it, that people can say or do whatever they want to you, without little to no consideration for how you might feel?”

I immediately said, “I won’t change myself for anyone.”  And I won’t.  No one should ever change who they are or what they enjoy doing in life for another person.  It’s not living an authentic life when we do that.

Understanding this though, might take some maturity and valuing your true sense of self.  I was upset because this relative knows how much I have struggled with stuff about myself in the last several months and to kick a person when they already feel down and out about the world is just not right.

Anyway, so here’s what I’d like to tell you:

What People Say and Do Has Nothing to Do with You:  People can act irrational, they can say and do things that are absolutely absurd with little to no explanation.  What you must remember here is that whatever they do, has nothing to do with you.  It’s about them, it’s about their limited views on life and the things they are struggling to accept about themselves and others.

You Are Just Fine:  I have to say this to myself more often, but you must MUST remember that you are just fine as you are.  Whoever that is.  To allow another person dictate how you view yourself is just not something you need to be spending your energy on.  Trust me.  I have seen what I have done to myself when I have allowed another person make feel this way.

Release the Pressure:  To be what others expect you to be.  That you need to be happy and get over shit and be all things to all people.  Because you don’t.  Whenever someone makes you feel like you need to a certain way to meet their expectations, just stop listening and remember who you are.

You Are Doing the Best You Can:  Everyday can feel like a race and some days we just barely make it.  We’re riddled with consuming thoughts, overthinking and analyzing which is just exhausting.  Remember this though, you are doing the best you can.  Repeat it again, you are doing the best you can.

Don’t Let Anyone Define Who You Are:  You are you and that is enough.  Don’t allow anyone to tell you who are or what you need to like and not like.  While we can’t change our families and what they say and do, we can change the people outside of that.



image source – pixabay

Comments are closed.