i am enough…

By Sunday, September 10, 2017 0 , , , , Permalink

Ever had a day that you felt like you weren’t good enough for your relationship? Like your significant other had the upper hand, and you never felt like you were enough for him or her? Or that you were not doing enough for your current job? Or that your body was not the same as 10 years ago? Ever feel like you are never quite enough?

Recently a friend, admitted her fear was that she was never enough. And it was like a glass shattering. I realized at that exact moment that it was the same fear I had for years, but I had never quite defined it before. When I was a kid I worried I wasn’t enough to be popular. Then I thought, I wasn’t enough to fit in. Then I thought I wasn’t enough for my first boyfriend to love me. As time went on, so did my “enoughs”…

Wondering and thinking if I was enough to be pre-med, or be a law student, or get my MBA. MBA was the right one, but I kept wondering if I was enough to succeed.

Then I wondered if I was enough for my other relationships after one failed, and then another failed. I gained some weight and wondered if I was enough for the good looking folks.

I wondered if I was enough of a good mom to my furball.

There were too many “enoughs”, as you can see.

Some may call it a lack of confidence, but it’s not necessarily the case. I can be quite confident in all the things I mentioned above, but I have my moments where I wonder if … it’s ever enough. I am enough.

The answer…as you can already imagine is yes. But how do we battle this on a daily basis? How do we continue to feel enough? Wonder less, and believe more?

I’m starting with compartmentalizing and not taking on more than I can chew. I’m using “I am enough” as a mantra when I wonder, and it helps to hear myself say it. I take it as a belief and I move forward. Sometimes I have to repeat it, but that’s ok. For example earlier I was feeling rough because I had gained 5 pounds over the last few months … may n0t seem like a lot, but when you feel uncomfortable you start feeling like “you aren’t enough” and I had to remind myself that it’s just five pounds. And I am still enough despite it.

Time to be a bit more fearless…


image source – pixabay

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