If you’ve failed once, maybe twice, or thrice… you cant help but be a little gun shy the next time around. It can give a dip in confidence, create anxiety and at times avoidance of the things we should be pursuing. But how the hell does that help us? It doesn’t…obviously. So instead, let’s beat the the fear bullshit, and make more of our lives and happiness.
Here are four ways to do just that:
- Don’t listen to the naysayers – When I was in middle school I was told not to take Trig because I didn’t do as well in Geometry (I received a B). I took it anyway and got an A. Also in middle school I was told by my band teacher that drumline in high school is a lot harder and I shouldn’t expect to get in. Well I did, and I was bass drum captain. These seem like small things, but there are naysayers throughout our lives. Telling us not to do things, telling us we aren’t good enough, or we are silly for having certain goals. Screw that. Go after your goals and if you don’t succeed or it doesn’t work out…at least you know you tried.
- Believe in yourself – Whether it’s a new job, a grad school program or a new gym class, believe that you have a right to be there. You are meant to be there at this moment. I left law school and went for my MBA and I was scared shitless of making another wrong move in my career/education (I was pre-med once too). But despite my fear, I changed directions again and pursued what seemed like a better passion and interest for me in the long run. And guess what – it damn sure worked out.
- Work through the anxiety – anxiety is like an elephant stepping on you chest keeping you from moving forward. It’s just plain awful. Can you imagine feeling that before any big decision or each morning when you’re going through life changes? Instead, try to work through it. For example, I get major anxiety before a big presentation. So I’ve worked on little things that help me feel more comfortable despite the anxiety I know I will still have. It allows me to push through it and after a while the anxiety begins to dissipate or at least dull a bit so it’s less prevalent.
- Consider the feeling of succeeding – the best thing I’ve realized for myself is focus on the result. The end game. There are times when I don’t want to go to a new gym class because I’m afraid of looking stupid or making a fool of myself, but I also know how much happier I would be to at least try the class. For example, I had been dying to try barre but knew I would suck at it. I finally made myself go one Saturday, and although the instructor had to correct my positioning more than a few times, it makes me more comfortable to go again…and knowing I will hopefully only need corrections a couple times next time around.
image source – pixabay