Written by former contributing blogger, Daniela Forte (RIP).
What comes to mind when you think of November? Thanksgiving, of course. But, what if you don’t feel so thankful for everything you have this holiday season? Or you are struggling to be grateful for what you have in your life because there is just too much weighing you down? What then?
I may sound like a major Debbie Downer, but I don’t know, I don’t always feel so thankful and grateful for what I have in the here and now. Because there is other shit, hurtful shit that is weighing me down. I can’t see the light.
Is anyone with me here? Anyone get what I am saying? I hope so. I am not telling you all to start damning the world, if you can find things to be thankful and grateful for, by all means make that list.
But those of us who are struggling, those of us that couldn’t see the light at the Thanksgiving table, while others paraded their thanks, right now here is what I can tell you:
Take Your Time: With yourself. Whatever is hurting you, making you feel less than thankful or stellar about your life, take your time to work through it. Work through the darkness to get to the light. Whatever taking the time means to you, it could be prayer, meditation, reading… anything.
Talk to Someone: I’ve always hated in the past when people have said, “Maybe you need to talk to someone?” As in a therapist or life coach or someone to help me through the emotions. What can I say about this? It’s a big help, but it’s important to find the right one for you. You may need to screen some people before you decide who to go with.
Do Things That Make You Happy: One of the things that make me happy right now at this moment, is cooking with one of my closest friends. We do it every week. Find something that you enjoy doing, it will certainly make you grateful you have it.
Work at Your Own Pace Towards Joy: If there was one thing I’ve learned about myself throughout the course of my life, is that people telling me what I should do to make me better or live a better life will never get me to do it. I will eventually listen after the constant badgering from family and friends alike, but give me time, let me decide on my own. I encourage you to find gratitude on your own. Don’t let people tell you things like, “You should be grateful for all that you have.” Thanks! I am feeling the gratitude now. Get better when you are ready to get better.
There is Always Something to Be Grateful For: Whether you are feeling it or not, you can surely find something. That delicious cup of coffee you have every morning, that smile someone gave you when you held the door for them, the events you have coming up, friends calling you, this list can go on. I have a jar, where everyday I put something in it that I am grateful for.
Lastly, Remember Who You Are: Every.Damn.Day. Don’t allow the outside noise dim your light and make you hate the world around you. Don’t let the cruelty of others change who you are.
Do I think this short list of how to turn your ungratefulness into gratefulness will work overnight? No. I do think though the more you practice it, you will find that your life will change for the better.
And until then, remember that Thanksgiving is only once a year, but everyday is about you and making yourself feel a little bit better and a little more thankful for who and where you are.