Why you don’t need to seek validation

Written by contributing blogger, Daniela Forte.

You are valid just the way you are.  Read that again. I am reading it again, because I have been struggling with that recently.  Whether you’re my age (36) or you’re 15-years-old, you should never feel you need to seek validation from other people.  Because guess what? You aren’t going to get it.

The only person who needs to tell you, you are valid, is you.  Remind yourself every single day that you are valid, worthy and loved.  With the advent of social media, we often seek validation from our followers and friends of the things we share through likes and comments. 

We look for validations on the decisions we make from our family and friends just to be sure we’re making the right decision at all.  We look for validation from people who aren’t even good people because for some ungodly reason their opinion of us matters.

Here are several reasons why you do not need to seek validation from anyone else:

Other people don’t go to bed with YOU every night:  When you lie yourself asleep each night (married or not) you are going to bed with yourself.  You are laying down on that pillow and closing your own eyes and thinking your own thoughts and fears before bed.  Not that person who likes your Facebook posts or that person at your job that said, “You’re doing a great job” or “Keep it Up.” You are. 

Other people don’t pay your bills: While we all wish other people would pay our bills for us (ha-ha), they don’t so they don’t need to be telling you you’re valid.  They aren’t looking at your bank account each month, they aren’t worrying about whether you can even pay the bills you have to pay. 

Other people don’t have your beliefs: Your beliefs about life are all your own.  You don’t need another person’s validation to tell you what you believe in is correct or justified.  Everyone is their own person with their own set of beliefs and thoughts and there shouldn’t be any judgement. 

Other people don’t know your struggles:  Whether you suffer from depression or anxiety or both, people aren’t with you in this. They don’t know what it takes to get up in the morning, they don’t know what it takes to go to sleep at night and stay asleep for that matter. There is no reason why you need validation from them.  Let them judge you, let them not speak to you and always remember none of it has anything to do with you. You are you and that is your power, as they say.

Other people don’t know your truth: Your truth is valid and that’s all you need to know.  No one needs to tell you that it is.  No one needs to give you a stamp of approval either. Stay in your truth and don’t ask anyone else for it.

I will be honest; we all look for validation from others. Several of us think that another person’s opinion of us is more important than our own.  We look for validation to make sure we’re going down the right path.  We often look for blessings from others to make sure it’s right.  If you know you are, none of that is needed, even if it makes us happy in that small moment.  Trust me. 


image source – pixabay

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